


Magic

by poetdameron



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Background Eric/Donna and Kelso/Brooke, Drama, F/M, Fix-It, Friendship, JD and HK tags are for friendship not romantic stuff, Romance, Season 7 Fix it, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-16 19:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11259129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: Hyde has never been good at words and Jackie has never been good at waiting, they need to find a balance to stay together. Hopefully, they'll do it before is too late. JH, Season 7 Fix-it (sort of).





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MistyMountainHop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyMountainHop/gifts).



> This fanfic was wrote for and is dedicated to MistyMountainHop, who I love and admire. I hope you like it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go as planned for Jackie when Hyde can't find his own words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I wrote this fic a while ago, and for one thing then another, I didn't have the chance to post it until now. Next part will be up once my beta has it, but hopefully It'll be next week, also on Tuesday.
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/162068796030/m-a-g-i-c-part-i-hyde-has-never-been-good-at) to support me! Thank you

**Magic**

**Part I**

Jackie's small fingers tugged at Hyde's tie as he followed her down the basement's stairs after walking hand in hand to them, quickly disappearing out of everyone's sight.

Her giggles were enough for his shoulders to start losing the tension they had been carrying for the whole damn week and his lips welcomed the warm embrace of hers. He didn't register when they had reached his room, didn't care how fast they got out of their clothes and on his cot.

Even if she hadn't been listening to a single word he had said before, the physical comfort she was bringing him radiated by love, was enough. Hyde could feel her mouth and hands dusting away the fear installed deep in his heart, and it set his mind free for the time being.

As they touched each other, he stopped thinking about work, sudden new-found family, responsibility and the damn _irony_ of his entire freakin' life. And when he entered her, Jackie was all inside and out, around, over and under him.

His chick had worked magic on him tonight.

Just half an hour ago, he had been the most tired he has ever felt, but the second her lips moved in that slow and soft motion of hers to tell him she wanted him, all of it was gone and his desire for her had worked them out nicely to the point when he couldn't stop smiling.

Jackie was panting beside him, sweating even if she would never admit it, and Hyde looked at her. Her perfect hair was also a mess, but the width of her smile took his attention immediately and he had to roll over, kiss her and breathe her in again.

"You know, people are going to notice we aren't up there..." He said, carefully lying over her without letting his whole weight crush her. "Not that I care, but... I thought you liked that stuff."

"Oh, I do!" Her hands went to his cheeks, and she caressed his face softly. Hyde closed his eyes, knowing he was smiling as she kept loving him tender. "But I like it more here. Don't you?"

"Way better than anywhere else."

Lately, a lot of things he did felt mandatory. But kissing her was always different, it never felt forced, and there was something new in it every time. To be with her was everything but routine and Hyde was sure, as long as they could maintain it this way, everything else would be fine for him.

But she was looking at him worried when they pulled away.

There was still that blush and shine from the bliss they reached together, but there was a small frown instead of her smile and Jackie bit her bottom lip, following the movements of her fingers as she caressed an invisible path from his eyebrow, down his nose, his lips, and to the dimple of his chin.

"You don't like working there with your father, don't you?" She murmured. If they hadn't been so close, maybe he wouldn't had heard her.

Her arms rounded his neck before he could answer and soon her hands were touching his back, the hard of his shoulders and hell, she _was_ listening to him earlier. Hyde had honestly thought she had ignored his whiny ass and quickly changed the topic to end up here.

But she had listened, man. Even now, Jackie kept surprising him with every small detail. She was so much more than she let out.

"God, you are tense!"

Yet, having her worried wasn't his intention at all. He didn't like the frown on her face or the tone she was using to talk right now. So, he kissed her again, trying to assure her he was fine.

"Steven," she sighed and smiled at him, "come on, turn around."

"Uh?"

"Trust me, baby." She smiled again and moved herself to make him do the same. "Turn around, please..."

He did as she asked, slowly turning on his back and she pushed him backwards, to her body, until he understood Jackie wanted him to lay down on her chest.

Once there, her arms crossed over his chest, rounding his neck and embracing him in her perfume, perfectly combined with his own scent and the smell of sex. Just like that, he started to feel softer, especially when her lips pushed against his sideburns and started to kiss his face tenderly.

"You know why I want you to keep that job?" She murmured near his ear, as if someone else could hear her.

Hyde sighed. "You want me to buy you nice shit."

"Steven." Her voice sounded firm, not quit angered or offended, just firm and serious. Like when Mrs. Forman only had to say his name and he will spill the truth.

"I don't know..."

Lately, that was his answer for everything.

He wondered if she ever was going to ask him what was up with that, if it bothered her. By the way her hands caressed down his chest, she wasn't mad at him for his answer, but she wasn't happy either. Jackie seemed to want him to relax, maybe thinking that this way he could have clearer thoughts.

"This is your family, Steven." She said, his body started to tense again, but her fingernails gently marked pink his pecs and _oh_ , that felt nice. "You were given a second chance to have one of your biological parents with you." He opened his mouth to protest, but her arms moved, hugging him closer to her. "I know you don't want to talk about it, I won't make you do it... Today." She smiled against the skin of his face. "But listen to me, please."

"I'm always listening to you..."

She smiled again, kissing his temple. Hyde closed his eyes, sighing as a way to accept his fate. Jackie's fingers kept massaging his pecs and moved to his biceps, slowly stopping at his shoulders where she started to massage again.

"I want you to have this chance..." She murmured. "Not only at having a steady job, but having—a place, you know what I mean? Somewhere... to be."

 _'To belong'_ , she meant. Jackie always made a big deal of that. He figured a long time ago, it all came down to her parents and their lack of real attention, or real love, towards her. She felt like a stranger even in her own house, a feeling he shared with her even before they knew the other existed.

"I'm fine right here." He answered after a silence that could had felt awkward if it wasn't for how warm she was. His nakedness didn't felt strange, in any way. "I've been fine without them, Jackie..." He sighed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"We all need a place, Steven."

"Yeah, mine is right here."

He could have added _'lazy on this shitty cot'_ or even, _'with the Formans'_ but lying to her at this point to protect himself was starting to feel too unfair. She had put through a lot with him and has never left him behind. Jackie stood with him in good, sick, too damn odd and too damn scary, and yes, at the end of the office day, there was no other person he wanted to see and be with more than her.

Like other times, she was probably going to use this against him at some point. But right now, her grip became softer, as if his words had left her numb and Hyde opened his eyes, finding her staring at some lost point in front of them.

When she finally moved, he swallowed the ball of nervousness that made his stomach drop, and everything went back to normal when her lips caressed his. They kissed deeply and warm; all she was, reflected in it.

He happily welcomed it, hoping that this super power of hers – making him _feel_ – would never burn out.

**~0~**

Steven was yawning too much, but Jackie knew he wasn't losing sleep at the moment.

Lately, they've been spending most nights of the week together and her mother seemed to not even notice her absence or the plus one at the house the few times she had been out of her room, searching for more booze.

He didn't look at her mother like their friends did, even when he pretended to. It costed her an entire week worth of crying into her pillow to see it and she had hated herself a little for that.

Why wasn't she able to see through Steven anymore? Or was she looking into it too much to the point his little things became invisible to her? She was starting to sound like her mother, had she started to act like her, too?

He yawned for the eight time at her side, barely giving any attention to the woman talking in the front.

"Are you really tired or just pretending to be?" She asked. It sounded harsh and bitter, and her hand slapped her own mouth almost immediately.

Steven had noticed, of course. But said nothing, only arched an eyebrow. "What's into you?"

Tired, she sighed and closed her eyes, putting her hand down. "I asked you something first."

"Not tired, just falling asleep." He leaned towards her and she waited for the kiss that never came. "Someone tricked me into coming with her to this, and I'm bored."

Jackie arched an eyebrow herself and looked at him, he was smiling already and that calmed her down a little.

"I didn't trick you into coming, you were orgasmed out of your mind and promised to do as I wanted. I just wanted to not come alone to this again…"

The last part had sounded ridiculous, even for her.

It was nothing, just some Christmas event to make people believe they were doing something good for the holidays. Steven always expressed disdain for these things, yet supported her when she wanted to do what she used to when she had been growing up.

Jack and Pam Burkhart had taught her that doing good by donating money and things others don't have was the right and expected thing to do by their social standards and she loved doing so as a kid. But then, she had met Donna and Mrs. Forman, and she had fallen in love with Steven's good heart and intelligent mind.

She had learned why these things were truly important and that the warm feeling in her belly wasn't selfishness but satisfaction. Maybe the toys will make someone happy, maybe she would be part of it.

"What's up with you, grasshopper?" His hand reached hers and he played with her fingers.

In what moment had she lowered her eyes to their hands between their seats? She was acting odd, it was only natural for him to notice something was wrong and she remembered Mrs. Forman advice from this morning, _"Well… talk to him, darling"_.

"Steven," she started, not sure of how to approach what she truly wanted to ask. But he was putting all his attention to her and a round of applauses exploded around them. They applauded, too, but were looking at each other. "Would you come with me to this next year?"

"That's a long time, Jackie." He smiled, interlacing their fingers as he thought of it. "What's wrong? You are not enjoying this but you are asking to come next year, what is it?"

"Steven…" She sighed. "I—I need to know something, but I'm not sure if I should… ask."

"Shoot, it can't get worse than this."

This, she hoped, meaning the event and not being with her. Jackie swallowed and nodded before finding the will power to speak her mind.

"I need to know if next year we are going to be together."

"What?"

He had gone Zen and her heart panicked a little with it; would he always go to his safe place every time she wanted to know something? Was this how things would always be between them from now on? It couldn't be.

"Steven, do you think we are going to be together next year?"

"Well…" He swallowed, his hand became sweaty in hers but she didn't want to let him go. "Yeah. I guess."

"You guess?" She tilted her head and he put his free hand over theirs. "What about the next, next year? Are we going to be together?"

"Jackie, what do you want?" He murmured. "Just say it."

In the front, the woman had thanked everyone for the Christmas Toy Drive and had said her apologies for the lack of wrapping for those toys. She had catched Steven and their friends with them, all open and used in the basement.

Her anger at the moment had been lessened by the fact that he was ready to go with her and had stood up the moment he saw her. He put the boys to work into putting everything back in boxes and Eric, Fez and Michael had gotten the toys back.

But now he was here, bored out of his mind, after having explained to her in El Camino that he just wanted to have some silly fun from time to time, before he _settles down_ and life went to _crap_.

"Okay…" She sighed. "Do you think we have a future together?"

Jackie needed to know. Because her first instinct had been to jump into the conclusion that her Steven thought life with her, once they settle down, was going to go to crap. And if he thought that, if he was really this unhappy and bored, then—then…

He chuckled. "Why would you ask that?" Even smiling, his voice sounded empty, he was closing himself again and Jackie tugged at the sleeve of his shirt. "I—"

"Would you th—"

"Oh, Jackie!" Mrs. Forman called her, she looked up at her. "Come here, there's someone I want you to meet!" There were a few older women with her and Jackie looked back at Steven, he seemed worried and the hint of emotion in his face made her feel better. "You too, Donna, darling."

When she looked at her friend, Jackie's face felt warm. She was looking at her with a big question in her face and Jackie realized Donna had heard them. Steven hadn't let go of her hand and she smiled at him, moving to stand up with Donna and Mrs. Forman, as he let her go almost reluctant.

"Steven?"

"I'll think about it." He answered.

Did he seriously had to think it? Did he? His face looked as confused as she felt, Jackie only nodded.

She wondered if he felt as hurt as she did.

**~0~**

"But you couldn't answer me right away, Steven. How could you not know right in the moment that you want to be with me for the long term?"

Her eyes were the saddest poem he had ever felt and it dried his mouth and closed his throat, keeping him from answering her too strong doubts.

"If you can't tell me you love me, at least I was hoping you would tell me you think we'll be together next year. But not even next year?"

Jackie kept talking. He swallowed and it burned down his stomach, stronger than any alcohol. Fear was making him mad, if Hyde was trembling by now, it was probably the purple marks he was causing to his arms at the moment as he crossed them over his chest.

"Jackie—"

"No, listen to me—"

"Jackie!" She shut her mouth and his hand went right into his sides, unable to move forward or backwards. Hyde was standing right in front of her with the basement empty for the exception of their discussion. "Listen to yourself first. Where is all this coming from? What did I do now?"

She swallowed visibly, moving her eyes from his face to the rest of his body, and then back at his face. Like she was thinking, debating to tell him whatever was on her mind or not. And she couldn't, she closed her eyes and let go a soft sound of defeat.

"I just want to know if we are ever going to get married—"

"Are we back on this again?" His voice sounded too harsh even for him, he shut his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, walking away from her as she stood, balancing her body in the same place. "Why can't you just be happy with what we've got?"

"Because I'm not, Steven! Look, I need to know that we have a future together…"

Jackie's voice was a small echo at the back of all the white noise Hyde was listening to. She had answered right away, no doubts, what he feared the most: she wasn't happy, her love for him wasn't enough anymore and, like he always knew it would happen, she needed more.

She didn't even hesitate to say it. For how long had she been feeling like this? How come he didn't notice before?

"… ybe, someday, we'll get married?"

He blinked before looking up at her, "I don't know", he said with the strangest voice, for he had fire in his throat and the shadows inside his chest were menacing with coming out, right in front of her.

"That's all you ever say!" It was, he stood there without doing a thing. She kept talking, and he only noticed the movement of her lips, his brain wasn't getting any of her words, let alone their meaning. "Please, Steven, please. Just say anything besides 'I don't know', anything else!"

Because she wasn't happy, she wasn't happy, she wasn't happy.

She wasn't happy.

"I don't know."

Maybe he never knew what she needed to be happy, maybe he never made her happy and she just got tired of waiting. But why had he been happy all this while? Wasn't it cruel that he was the happiest he's ever been while she wasn't? Why did she never tell him otherwise until now?

"Okay." She sighed. "Well, then I can't be with you anymore."

Wasn't this crap of being together a balance of likings and goals? She kept shoving into his face her dreams of being a perfect wife with perfect kids and a perfect husband. He would never be such things, he would never be happy like that.

This was the girl who a week and a half ago made him feel like she had magic kisses and magic fingers, making him giving him a sleep he couldn't dream of for weeks until she slept by his side And now she was taking away all of it away, she was using their feelings for each other to make him cave and fit into her shallow plans.

"Jackie, don't threaten me, okay? It's not gonna work."

She stood there, her eyes opened wide and cold and her arms fell at her sides. Defeated. So that was it, she was truly using i—

"That's what you think of me?" She bit her lip and licked at it while nodding. "That explains everything. You really think I just wait for you to obey me and that I'm out there ready to manipulate you? You _still_ think that?" He opened his mouth, he didn't have anything to say, but she needed to shut up because shit, shit, shit. "I'm not threatening you, Steven." Jackie sighed again. "I can't waste any more of my time on you if it's not gonna happen for us."

There was a pause then. The tone of her voice wasn't the right amount of conceited to be manipulative, it wasn't the right amount of secure to be a trap. She was breaking up with him and it was hurting her all the same. And right now, she waited, eyes open and honest, transparent in a way that was so damn scary.

Why did she trust him so much? He couldn't even move, he didn't have anything to say. He fucked up, hadn't he? It wasn't enough with not having it in him to give her what she wanted, he had also insulted her by taking her for granted like everyone else did in her life and he had misjudged like all those people.

"Okay…" Tears rolled down her face, she cleaned them with her sweater sleeve and swallowed before talking to him again. "Well, at least now I know."

She just… walked away with that, closing the basement's door behind her with almost no sound. Like if she wasn't mad at him for this number, or as if she didn't have the strength to be anyway. And Hyde sat down, elbow on his knee, hurting like fucking hell and its next of a kind.

His mouth was dry, his throat still full of his guts and every word he couldn't get out. His brain wasn't sure if he was angry or sad, but his back was in pain and his nostrils burn as if sick. To close his eyes was a bad idea, he recognized, as the weight of these past three days fell on his shoulders and both his hands covered his face.

"Fuck."

It didn't even sound as aggravated as the entire situation felt, as he felt, but it was all he could say. And then, came the numbness.

**~0~**

When Eric hadn't shown up to his wedding, Jackie had been by Donna's side since the beginning and almost dropped her from her window when she forgave Eric so easily.

She knew it was a matter of time before that bomb exploded, but right now, she only had mind for two things: the way her eyes had stopped watering but she was still sobbing, and how Donna's fingers felt in her hair.

This breakup was like no other, it had costed Donna a little to realize this but when she did, she stood by her side the same way Jackie had when she most needed her, and it made her feel a tiny bit better.

She and Steven hadn't talked to each other at all until Donna got them all tickets to the Packers game. At first, she had thought of not going and let his friends have fun but when Steven showed that cocky attitude about being fine without her, she needed to prove herself what she already knew wasn't the case: she wasn't fine at all.

Donna had appeared to her rescue and Jackie wondered for a couple of seconds how she had found her, how she had known. But it didn't matter. She had ruined her friend's already ugly shirt and tacky coat, and her makeup and hair, the ones she had put so much effort in for the day, were also a mess by now.

"Things can't keep this way, Jackie." Donna said. "You both are my friends, but this is killing you." She signaled inside the stadium, to where their seats would be. "I'm gonna go there and smack his head against the floor, maybe that way his brain would make some sense."

Jackie laughed a little at that, slowly getting away from her friend and Donna's fingers moved to the back of her neck. It felt almost motherly, if this is how this kind of care feels like, the way her hands grabbed her gently and how she had let her cry over her chest.

The boys would had seen and say whatever they wanted, but it had felt good and Jackie was grateful for her friend.

She also knew she won't do such thing to Steven. He was her oldest and dearest friend, after Eric, and Jackie would never want them to get away from each other just because of her. Losing a friend was like losing a part of you, and Jackie, even after this pain, didn't want that for Steven when he had lost so much before, when he hadn't had so much since he was a kid.

"I mean it." Donna insisted and Jackie nodded. "This can't keep going this way. You two have to talk and—"

"And what?" She sighed. "Donna, the last time we tried to talk, he kept saying 'I don't know, I don't know'. He can't say anything else…" She cleaned the remain of salt off her face with the sleeve of her jacket and Donna looked down at her, waiting. "Believe me when I say that I have tried everything, but he just doesn't know. And I do believe him when he says that. What else could it be?"

"I don't know—" Donna sighed, shook her head and tried to take away those words from her mouth. "What I mean is, maybe he's scared. Jackie, you're someone who expects too much from people. And Hyde is someone who… well, he does the bare minimum, always. It's safer that way for him."

"And he's wrong!"

Donna arched an eyebrow, Jackie shook her hand dismissively in front of her face and returned her back to the wall like before Donna appeared. Her friend moved, walked to her side and leaned her own back to the wall, hands inside her own pockets, thinking out loud about the situation.

"This sucks." She murmured. "Eric's being an idiot who doesn't care about his future, or _our_ future, and you two broke up. Kelso is being weirder than usual…"

"You noticed too?"

"Yeah." She swallowed and then continued. "He misses Brooke, I think. It must be hard for him. It's the first time he tries to truly commit to someone and they get separated."

"The best love stories start that way." She answered. "I told him, if he wants Brooke, maybe he should think of a way they could make it work."

Donna chuckled at that. "Kelso? Man, he barely works for himself." She sighed.

A pregnant silence overcame them and Jackie felt Donna's insecurity and sadness touching her shoulders. She looked at her side, to her friend, and saw her with her eyes in the ground.

She wasn't someone who did that, who looked down and put down her head. Donna always walked, talked and acted full of security and sometimes, full of herself, and Jackie liked that about her a lot. Maybe that was why they were friends, because they shared that ability.

But tonight, both had their heads down and both had a ghost floating over their heads as if something was to come, something none of them were ready to face and that was also devouring the boys they shared their every day with.

"We are growing up, after all." Donna said.

Ever since Jackie got her first Bride Barbie, she had wanted to grow up. So, she took her mother's shoes and purses, put make up on and prepared the most fancy and mature tea parties in her garden with her dolls and stuffed animals, even invited other girls with their dolls for tea.

Pam Burkhart had been proud and happy to see her grow up into a materialistic cannibal, always hungry for talking other people down and out of her way, prepared to attack and win without thinking on consequences and other people's heart.

It sickened her to think about, it also sickened her that she was no longer like that because Steven James Hyde had happened to her, and he was a disease that will never go away.

"Isn't it ironic how life is taking away what we love and want the most from us and giving it to the morons that break our hearts on a daily basis?"

Donna's breath got caught on her throat and Jackie felt the way her friend was making holes in her head with her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Donna, wasn't your biggest dream to get a scholarship and travel the world, learning and all that jazz?" Jackie looked at her, swallowing, knowing this was going to hurt Donna as much as it was hurting Jackie. "And now, Eric is doing nothing and you are trapped here on a job that uses you as a sex totem."

"Oh…"

"And for me—" She swallowed again. "Steven's father turned out to be rich, he gave him stability and a whole store of his own. His economic future is safe. Me?" She laughed, all the poison in her voice was melting her insides. "I haven't had a new piece of clothing for over a year."

"What?" Donna frowned. "You? No, way! You live at the mall with your mom!"

"Yeah, well. Her _boyfriends_ give her money for her, she only shares when it comes to food. Anything else I need…" She couldn't reveal the next piece of information; betraying Steven's trust wasn't on her plans after all. "Well, I have to take care of it myself."

"Damn…"

"And then, there's Michael, who was never capable of monogamy with me, but now is suffering because he can't be with one single girl while he tries to ignore it by loyally dating another girl." She looked at the blond and Donna nodded at her, understanding Jackie's words. "Is God sexist?"

Donna smiled, Jackie followed her lead and smiled at her own joke. "I always thought God was a woman, but now that I think about it, maybe not."

Jackie sighed, taking Donna's hand when she offered, and walking back to the game. Seeing Steven was going to be as hard, but at least she had Donna.

"Yeah." Jackie said. "Maybe not."

**~0~**

The smell of his room was nauseating.

It had been deprived from all things Jackie shortly after their break up, Donna and Fez being the ones in charge to march out the room with Jackie's crap and a solemn expression that declared a sympathy he didn't want.

Now the incense could do so much, it covered the smell of pot perfectly when needed, but the rest of the day, the absence of a window only allowed the humid to embrace the whole place and make it smelly, like a pre-pube's room. Mrs. Forman was not going to be happy once she noticed after taking the used sheets from his cot.

It also felt somehow empty, much colder than he remembered and how the hell had Hyde become such a softie?

He sat down on his cot and looked at the ground, trying to shut his mind for a few seconds so he could better think the whole situation over.

"Hey, man."

Kelso's voice sounded like an echo to him, the hollow of his room more evident with his tall body making a twilight in front of him. Hyde blinked a couple of times, wondering what was he doing here and what was that stupid expression on his face.

"What's up?"

"Oh, nothing, just…" He moved the armchair with his foot, sitting in front of him with a strange smile. "Donna told me you were gonna talk to Jackie." He said. "How did that go? Are you two together again?"

Hyde only had to arch an eyebrow for the doofus to understand, even though he suspected Kelso already knew the answer. What else could explain Hyde's presence in his room? Had he and Jackie been back together, he wouldn't be here alone and Kelso wouldn't had found the door open in the first place.

"Did she…?" Kelso moved his hands, like indicating a space between them. "Did she reject you or som—?"

"I didn't say anything." He confessed, too tired to find an excuse. "She's better off without me."

"Yeah, I guess…" Kelso answered, visibly swallowing and scratching the back of his head. "Wait, no. That's not right. What makes you think she's better off without you?"

"Look, she said it herself. She's… finally there, you know? She finally found something she loves and that she can do on her own. I'm not gonna be the one to intervene between that and her."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Alright, what would you understand about that?" He murmured, the silence that followed his words made him look up at Kelso.

But his friend was looking aside with arms crossed over his chest, lost in his own mind, like thinking about Hyde's words and what he implied.

Kelso had helped Jackie on her show today.

He had stood in front of the camera and made her variety program diverse and funny to whatever audience she may had gotten tonight. Even after all he had done to her, he was able to still stand at her side and he—maybe Hyde should had supported her properly since the beginning.

"You know, Hyde…" Kelso said, he wasn't looking at him at all but his voice sounded too soft, like trying to take tears away from it. "There's nothing here in Point Place."

"Uh?"

"Well, if you compare it to other places…" He looked up, but still didn't look at his face. "There is nothing good here, just—me, I guess."

"What's the deal, Kelso?"

"Brooke." His fingers scratched the old chair, he was talking too low and too soft. "She wasn't sure of leaving at first, but then I—told her it was for the best." Kelso finally looked at him. "I didn't see it at first, sometimes I still don't. But, you know, Betsy will have a better school and Brooke a better job, a better house and…"

As slow as his friend's brain, the idea behind the conversation hit him. Hyde's back straightened, looking at Kelso almost with too opened eyes, surprised. Had his friend gotten to that point? To finally understand that his own good is not always everyone else's good?

"But I'm not there." He continued. "And if I asked her to stay here with me, Betsy wouldn't have all the nice stuff she has over there, you know? That's what Tom said…"

One of his brother, the older one? "Which one is Tom?"

"The married one, Hyde!" He answered. "We went to his wedding! We stole a bottle of that disgusting vodka thing and my dad found us!"

Ah, yes. They had been thirteen and stupid, eager for growing up enough to buy their own booze, be like everyone else. Just as crazy and just as wild, and always getting caught in the act. It had been a good day and Hyde smiled, Kelso returned the smile and laughed with the memory.

Later that day, Casey had given them beer and that had been the only day Hyde has ever seen Kelso happy around that brother in particular. His friend's relationship with his siblings was all kinds of messed up, and it brightened his mind to finally notice that maybe that was the first strike against Kelso, what started the path to become the whiny ass he was.

"Anyway…" Kelso sighed. "Tom said I should let Brooke and Betsy go, because it was for their own good. I told that to her, and you know what she answered me?" Hyde swallowed. Whatever Brooke had told Kelso, it had affected him enough to still remember it and to think it was worth recalling for Hyde's own situation. "She said that was her decision to make."

"What?" He found himself sounding offended. His hands were fists over the covers of his cot, and the idea of Jackie saying this to him for his own decision made him want to puke. "What are you talking about? Kelso, be clear. It's late and I'm tired, and you are being an idiot. Just end it."

"She said she's the only one who can decide what's best for her—"

"But she left!"

"Well, yeah, because it was the best. But she got mad at me, anyway! God, why don't you ever let anyone talk before you get your own conclusions?"

Vile rose up his throat, he had been told that before. By his own goddamn mother, by Forman, by Donna, by Jackie and now, freakin' Kelso. He shut his trap and let Kelso finish whatever he was trying to get out his system.

"It was the best for her and Betsy in the end, but she got mad at me because I decided by myself that it was best for us." He signaled himself with both hands pointing at his chest. "Lily—That's Tom's wife. Lily said she was right. I shouldn't had decided for our relationship all by myself. And you know what?" He arched an eyebrow, hoping whatever was coming would make sense. "It sucks! I did this all the time with Jackie and she always forgave me! But now, Brooke is going out with some doctor and my daughter is gonna call him daddy before she calls me!"

Oh. Hyde blinked a couple of times, licked his lips before talking but Kelso's arms opened and his friend looked directly at him—"Hyde! Don't make decisions for Jackie! Did she tell you she doesn't wanna get back together?"

"N—"

"Did she say she's ok without a guy right now?"

"She said she was going to do fine by her own."

"Well, she does!" He added, then signaled at him with one accusatory finger. "But that's not gonna change because she's getting it!"

None of this could be getting out of Kelso's mouth alone. Someone must had put the words to his brain and on his tongue, it was impossible so many changes would had occurred to him in such a short time. Why wouldn't Angie correct him about how much of an idiot Kelso was if he was this clever now?

"Kelso, man—"

"I miss Brooke, okay? And I miss the way she made me feel about myself. But I lose her because I made a stupid mistake, I listened to the wrong person instead of listening to her." He said, not giving him a chance to complain or stop him. His eyes searched for something in the room and Kelso's body suddenly froze. "And I'm gonna break up with your sister, that's why I came here."

"Wait, WHAT?"

And then, comes the nonsense. This was the Kelso he knew, searching for an easy way to get himself out of any problems. He was going to ask him to dismiss Angie for him, and his fist got ready to frog him as many times as necessary for the next few minutes of their conversation.

"The Captain at my division got me a relocation I can go to Chicago with the same shift," he started to number the benefits with his fingers. They were long and skinny, and holy shit, Kelso's body was out of proportion everywhere. How did all of it made sense? "The same charge, and one of the guys at the station in Chicago needs a roommate, so my Captain told him to wait for me to give them an answer—"

"You are going to Chicago?"

"I don't know!" He answered. "I—I have to talk to Angie first."

"You said you were gonna break up with her…"

"Yes!" He said, then blinked a couple of times. "No! I mean, if that's what she wants. And let's face it, it will be... I guess we are gonna break up."

The silence that followed gave Hyde time to process the information. It didn't explain why Kelso had tried to give him advice on relationships and why he was sharing with him these big news. Maybe he just needed to take it out of him, say it out loud to make a decision.

"Things are not gonna change with Brooke." Kelso said. "But I can be with Betsy, and… do something."

"What do you mean?"

"No one there knows I'm an idiot." He looked up again, his face seemed like a child's. The insecurity in his voice became apparent and Hyde noticed, for the first time, how complex his friend had become. "Plus, I nailed all the pretty girls here. I'm not getting in with uggos, Hyde."

"Kelso." He swallowed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're an idiot."

Kelso smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah." He sighed then and shrugged. "I just wanted to know… if you are going to hate me in case Angie breaks up with me." He finally let out. "Because, sometimes, it feels as if we aren't friends anymore. And it's really sad because Jackie and I are better than we have ever been. We should be good, too."

They should.

His disdain for Kelso had come while noticing the disgusting ways he thought and treated everyone around him. Kelso never thought of the consequences of his bullshit, he constantly screwed him and their friends over and over again. And when he fell for Jackie? Boy, the way Kelso had treated her was the top reason on his list for wanting to punch his friend's face.

But Kelso had been one of his best friends, too. His partner in crime most times, always listening to his bad ideas and doing as he said, putting his ass at risk and hurting himself in the process while putting on an act or a well thought prank.

And now he had grown up. He was a cop and a father, and had a big-time opportunity to follow his family to the place that was most likely to become home for him.

"We ain't stopping being friends for that, shit happens all the time." He answered, because Kelso wasn't Bud. "Look, you gotta do what you think is best for you and your daughter. Angie will see that, she's pretty smart and mature." And he wasn't Edna, either. He wasn't abandoning his kid and leaving her to have only her mother. He wasn't leaving Brooke alone in it, too. "And if you two still want to be together, you'll find a way."

"Alright!" Kelso answered after a few seconds. The idiotic smile on his face looked genuine and tender, it made him smile a little. "Thank you, Hyde!"

He stood up, squeezing his shoulder before leaving his room. Hyde sighed after he heard Kelso's steps getting away from his room, until he ran back, looking at him front the door frame. Hyde blinked, waiting.

"You're in love with Jackie, man." He assured, Hyde opened his mouth to shush him but he continued talking. "And she's in love with you. You are smart, do the math!" Kelso swallowed and seemed to make himself smaller, maybe fearing something. "You can't decide for her. I did that a lot and look where that got me…"

In an instant, he saw himself in Jackie's Lincoln, smiling at her as he reminded her how much better she was without Kelso and how much better she could do. Even when he told her that, she made the decision herself, of not believing Kelso's crap at the moment and then, even after making the same mistake again, she found herself wanting someone else. Hyde.

In the end, it had become true, her doing better than Kelso.

She wanted him and a future with him, and that was what it was all about. Hyde's fingers were probably leaving red marks that will become purple on his skin now, but he didn't uncross his arms over his chest. He only nodded.

"Ok." Kelso said. "Don't marry the stripper, Hyde!"

He moved his head to one side and frowned. "What?"

"Oh, Fez didn't tell you?" He smiled. "He dreamt you married a stripper in Vegas and brought her here to rub it in Jackie's face that marriage means nothing." He smiled again. "She was really hot! Looked like Annette and Laurie at the same time and had these huge—"

"That's gross, Kelso! Get the hell out of here!"

"'Nite, 'nite!"

Was this what his friends thought of him? That he would hurt Jackie that much? That he was that kind of bastard?

Did Jackie think the same about him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part: Everyone is leaving Point Place, included Jackie. Hyde needs to talk to her. Or something.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is leaving Point Place, included Jackie. Hyde needs to talk to her. Or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot to everyone who was kind enough to leave a comment for the first part (and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer every review, I'm terrible!). Your support means a lot to me and my work, and I hope you all like the conclusion of this story.
> 
> I also want to say that I corrected the terrible mistake I made with the first chapter, I accidentally uploaded the revised draft instead of the final one, but it's not sorted out. I'm very sorry.
> 
> Also, I want to especially thank my beta Marie for the amazing job she did on this fic. Wouldn't had been possible without her.
> 
> If you liked this and you have tumblr, please consider rebloging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/162325710965/m-a-g-i-c-part-ii-hyde-has-never-been-good-at) to support me! Thank you

**Magic**

**Part II**

Everyone was leaving. Or so Jackie and Donna were feeling while lying on the blonde's bed, looking at the ceiling of her room.

Jackie's mouth was dry and her head hurt from crying and laughing so much at the same time. Michael seemed to always have that ability of provoking both emotions in her simultaneously and now he was leaving, following the family he lost even if Brooke was likely to never take him back.

As a kid, she would had called him a romantic. Right now, she thought him an idiot. Romantic, but an idiot all the same. It was too risky, what he was doing, and yet he was happy out of his damn mind about it, even after breaking up with Angie.

She looked at her side, finding Donna quiet and absent from this world, a single tear running down her blushed face. Jackie's throat felt heavy, her heart hurt and she moved her hand to take Donna's.

Her friend didn't respond. She didn't grasp her hand more tightly or took it away from hers, her expression didn't change either and Jackie's lips parted to talk, but the dry sensation was starting to feel like cold and they closed again. There were no words for this.

Everyone was leaving, included her.

"You know? I'm going to come visit." She said, hoping it would awake Donna's spirit. "Every weekend! I'll travel on Friday and spend here until Monday morning."

Her friend didn't react, her only answer was another tear going down her cheek, direct to her chest where it burnt.

"I was supposed to go, too." Donna finally said after what felt like fifty lifetimes. "I was supposed to leave town and be on my own, not here waiting for Eric to come back from Africa. Fucking, stupid, hot Africa, Jackie!"

She nodded, there wasn't anything else she could do. Jackie knew Donna's feelings about Eric leaving for the other side of the world were as mixed as the colors of her room. A part of her was proud Eric had decided to do something so risky for himself, but almost all of her was hurt.

Because he hadn't asked, he hadn't told her about it until he did it, until she couldn't say a word to stop him.

And now, her best friend was leaving for Chicago, a few months after Michael left, too. Jackie understood Donna's pain, that cold feeling you get when you realize people are leaving you behind one by one. But sometimes, the last days of winter are the harshest and then comes spring. And with it, life.

"What am I doing?" Donna said. "Nothing. I'm just stuck at a job where I'm asked to be a sex symbol and show skin, and if I refuse I get fired." She swallowed and Jackie wanted to hug her, more than ever. "My boyfriend left me at the altar and I forgave him because I don't want to lose him, and because—a part of me was happy he didn't show up." She finally looked at Jackie, her face had gotten even more red and her eyes were probably sore with tears. Jackie felt her own going down again. "But all of me is still hurt he did that. And he never—he makes jokes about it and brags to our friends about it, as if it hadn't ruined him for me. I can't trust him and he is going to Africa!"

Jackie swallowed, nodding as Donna started to explain how Eric could end up finding someone else in Africa or, in his time alone, finding out that he didn't want to be with Donna, that they weren't meant to be as he always babbled about.

It hurt to see Donna like this. She was the strong one out of the two of them, of the whole of them. She and Steven were the reason and the rocks, the walls around them that shielded them from their dumbassery and other idiotic antics.

But now she was as broken as Jackie felt since the moment the first doubt about Steven was born in the deepest corner of her mind. It soon had infected her heart and her mouth had ended what was between them in a heartbeat.

And it didn't matter how much she wanted him, they were more away from each other every day and now, she was about to embark on a new chapter of her life that did not include him. Did it include Donna?

Jackie put a hand on her friend's hair. She had started sobbing after Jackie didn't give an answer to her rant about Eric and her leaving the same damn day. She caressed her blond locks like Donna often did when she was the one crying her soul out, and Jackie wondered if this was going to be the last time, if Donna was going to stop being part of her life once she got installment in Chicago and found new friends.

She had never had a friend like Donna. The girls she used to hang out with before they met were always like her: searching for meaning, trying to find it in clothes and bad words that killed more spirits than it brightened. Her mouth had got clean once she started to hang out more with Donna, and Steven retired the soap from it to taste it and it had been good.

To this day, she was still waiting for the moment she was going to revert to that mean girl, but it seemed like this was her now. She was the girl trying to care for herself in a real way, she was the girl moving her tools to find her own, and she was the girl that listened and got worried about her friends feeling lonely.

' _You still have Steven and Fez'_ , she wanted to say. But it wasn't the same. Donna and she had that in common: none of them could easily become friends with other girls, for different reasons, but all the same at the end. And to do this kind of friend-therapy with a boy couldn't be the same, especially not with Steven or Fez.

"You still have me, alright? Donna, I may go to another state but I'm still your friend."

"You won't be here when I decide to do stupid things, you won't be here when I'll get bored and miss Eric too much."

And she was right. But if she stayed in Point Place one day more… Donna had to understand that. Maybe that was why she was so hurt right now, because she didn't have a way out herself.

"I'm so sorry, Donna…" Jackie murmured, her voice sounded already constipated and she hated that in crying. "It's just… this is a big deal. It's a one in a lifetime—"

"I know." Donna said. "I just… I just wish you were doing it for the right reason, not for running away."

Jackie sighed, putting her arms around Donna and her lips brushed her friend's forehead. "I have to." Donna nodded. "I always thought things would be different… but every time I give a good step, ten bad ones happen. It's so unfair!"

"Yeah…" Donna's breathing was starting to normalize and Jackie's tears were no longer wetting her hair. "I was supposed to go to Madison with or without him, I was supposed to study what I love and get to travel, and know more people, and be happy…"

"I know…"

"You were supposed to be happy, too." She said suddenly. Jackie's fingers went hard on Donna's shoulder but she didn't move. "You were supposed to wait for Hyde to be ready. And he was supposed to love you forever."

But none of it happened, she wanted to add. Donna probably knew this, too, but she was too upset to put a finger to that wound. Her friend didn't say anything else, she didn't cry either after that and they slowly fell asleep, until she felt Donna moving at her side.

She left the bed, silently walked to the window and Jackie's ear finally noticed the noise coming from it. Eric? She hoped they wouldn't start doing it with her in the room. What time could it be? Had she stayed with Donna for too long, her mother may have noticed her absence? No. Pam Burkhart never knew when she wasn't home, just like she never knew when she was there or right by her side.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Donna asked Eric, Jackie didn't move and tried to go back to sleep, wanting to ignore the fight that was about to come if Donna didn't leave the room with her stupid boyfriend.

"She wasn't at her house, I supposed she was here." Steven's voice. She almost jumped from the bed, but again, Jackie decided to not move and only listen. "I was just—"

"Oh, my God!" Donna said in surprise, not yelling, but surprised. A big smile could be heard from it. "You were worried about Jackie!" She said, for the sound, Jackie realized she was jumping. It made her smile. "You are worried about her!" Steven didn't say anything, didn't even try to interrupt. How many times had Donna done this before? "Because you still looooove her!" Donna said, almost singed.

Jackie's heart stopped and her fist under her chin hardened her touch with the bed sheets. Steven was never able to admit love to her, he wouldn't admit it to anybody else. Donna's words were only a burn and his laugh confirmed her suspicion.

"Shut it, blondie. I just wanted to know if she's… here." He must have had finally spotted her. Donna said nothing and his steps finally touched the room's floor. "Is she okay?"

"What the hell were you doing at her house?" Donna asked, Jackie nodded in her mind, she wanted to know too. "It's almost one in the morning, imagine if her drunk mother had found you climbing to her daughter's room?"

"I don't think Pam would mind." He answered, the venom in his voice at her mother's name made her swallow a giggle. "Listen, I just wanted to know if she was fine."

"Hyde, what are you doing?" Donna said after a long pause, which almost made Jackie think both had left.

"I don't know."

He never knows, Jackie wanted to stand and tell Donna this. Her friend sighed, walked over and put the sheets over her, Jackie smiled inside her head. She had a good friend after all.

"Let's go. I bet you can't sleep." Donna said, their steps moved together, getting away from her. They were truly leaving. "Tell me about it."

"It's nothing." He insisted. "Come on."

She imagined him going out the window and then offering his hand to Donna, so she would climb out, too. Jackie had seen them do this a million times. They used to sit apart from them with their legs hanging at the Water Tower. They did it at Donna's rooftop, too.

The kind of intimacy they had was something she didn't like at times. It felt as if she could never be able to achieve that closeness with the one that had been her boyfriend. Until she accidentally overheard Donna telling just this to Steven, _'I'm not the one who should hear that, Hyde'_ and he had answered, aloof and cold, _'What I tell you is nothing compared to what I tell her'_.

It had made her feel special, to think Steven Hyde trusted her more than he trusted his oldest friends. But the rest of his actions and words contradicted plenty with what he did. By the end of their relationship, she wasn't sure if her place in his life was really that important, or if it was something they both thought she had.

Maybe his shadow had been bigger and stronger all this time.

Jackie opened her eyes and waited, listening to the movements of Donna and Steven climbing to the rooftop and once their voices became a lullaby, she tried to understand what they were saying but nothing came clear.

She heard her name a couple of times, some giggles and slaps, but nothing substantial.

Rolling over, she looked at the window and wondered what would had happened if Steven had found her in her room. Why did he want to talk to her so urgently that he had gone at one a.m. to her house? Was this about Chicago? Did he want her to stay?

No.

Maybe she should stop dreaming and just start sleeping properly.

**~0~**

Hyde and Jackie had been apart for too many months by now, and he has never felt this tired before. In fact, Hyde was sure of this, this is the most tired he has ever been; not even his time as a corporate in his father's office had burned him down as much as whatever this was.

After Kelso left for Chicago, Angie did for Milwaukee and Grooves stayed in his hands with all its responsibilities, making him the partial owner of basically the only decent records store in Point Place.

Little after that, Forman came up with his crazy idea of the Safari and he was almost ready to go. And just a week after, Jackie's bomb was thrown and he was still recovering from the impact.

She was leaving for Chicago, too.

Chicago, from all damn places. Just the city where Kel—no. Fuck. How could he still think of her and Kelso like this after all that has happened? After Kelso not only dated but was loyal to his sister for a while, after he confessed to still have feelings for the mother of his child, after Jackie so many times told him and showed him she felt nothing but friendship for Kelso?

He was a complete bastard and Jackie was way better off without him, definitely. And like many times before, Hyde hated being right.

The basement's door opened with Jackie's perfume filling his nostrils and he swallowed, not wanting to open his eyes but having to, since there was no greet, nor surprised gasp, no giggles from her and Donna.

"Hey." He said, seeing her standing at the door alone.

It wasn't too early in the morning and he was tired, damn tired. He needed to go to Grooves but he couldn't move from his chair, just like she wasn't moving from her spot at the door.

"Hi, Steven." She finally said and Hyde smiled at her.

By this point, they had been alone more than enough and nothing had happened. The awkwardness seemed to never leave them at first, but it slowly disappeared until they could watch TV together and laugh. She had even started telling him about her mother and her job, until she mentioned Chicago and his world became cold again.

"So guess what?" She said, there was a little playfulness in her voice and he realized how much he had missed that in her tone. He made a sound to indicate he was listening. "They offered me payment at the TV Access if I don't leave. Apparently, mine is the only show people watch!"

The cockiness on her face was adorable, it has been a while since he last saw her like this and it made him smile. Of course, her show would be the only one people watched, it was the only one where actual people worked.

"Well, it's not the Public Access, properly. I won't have my own program, but a segment in 'Wake up, Wisconsin' or 'Good night, Wisconsin', or some other like that, filmed at the TV Access in live…"

He had seen her prepare her own segments with Donna, work on props and themes to lay on for her 'episodes'. Fez had started to help, too, after Kelso left, and the show didn't suck.

All she talked about was honest to God crap, she knew it, but it was the kind of stuff people wanted to see on a Friday night, it was also the kind of thing she knew best and allowed her to not share too much. Perfect.

"And!" She continued, finally walking over. "They offered… to pay Donna, too! Since, you know, she works with the camera and the sound." Jackie moved her head to one side, not looking at him, a small frown was drawing itself over. "Although, they didn't mention anything about Fez… oh, well. A two women work will do."

Hyde blinked a couple of times, listening to this more closely. Did she—Had she…?

"You accepted it?" He managed to ask without sounding excited, let alone interest.

"Uh? No." She answered, her tone of surprise almost offended him. "I mean—" She sat down in the couch and put herself comfortable. "I haven't actually give them a final answer, I said I'll think about it."

"Will you…?" He murmured and she shut her mouth immediately.

Damn. Why had his mouth decided to betray him like this? Now? It was as if it wanted to say shit only when it could screw him, but when he actually needed to say something, it remained closed. Especially when it came to Jackie.

She didn't say anything, only looked at him as if waiting for him to say anything else, maybe correct himself or something. But no, goddammit, he needed to know this. Because if she was staying, If she was going to—maybe he could try something. Maybe he could talk to her about them.

Maybe he should talk to her, period.

"Well, I'm talking to Donna first." She answered. "I know she's not in the mood, but… I don't know."

"And if Donna says yes, you stay?"

Jackie blinked a couple of times, but only nodded. She was so close to him, sitting in the couch, facing him like when they used to play chess together or she wanted to gossip and he even missed that.

"Really?"

"I actually don't want to go, Steven." She confessed. "It's just—It's a big opportunity. It feels like the only one, too."

He missed her mind during chess' strategies to kick Fez's and Donna's ass, in Groove's speakers, the flat of his El Camino, the cold of the morning and on his lap. If she left town, it may be winter forever. Hyde swallowed.

"Jackie, you'll get plenty of chances." He offered. "One job offer doesn't mean it is the only one coming. Someone saw you over there, someone is fighting for you to stay here, someone else will offer you something even better and bigger." He said. "And you're still young, man. Come on…"

"Steven?"

"It's just—" He sighed. She may kill him after this, but whatever. It needed to be done. "That's your problem, you know? You think everything is now or never, but shit ain't like that all the time. You gotta learn to wait. Or to open your own doors."

Before, a frown would be already on her face. She would be standing and pointing at him with an accusatory finger, yelling about how wrong he was and how much she was going to show him this.

Instead, Jackie seemed to think about his words and she slowly looked up at him. Curiosity was all over her face and he remembered her sleeping the other night at Donna's, hugging their friend's pillow when they came back from the rooftop.

What he originally wanted for that night, she needed to hear that. Donna was right, he couldn't keep it to himself, even if it would mean that Kelso was right.

"Thank you, Steven. I think you may be right…" She sighed, then nervously giggle. "But, still—I think Chicago is the best for me at the moment, it's just… it's happening so fast!"

"Yeah… whoever wants you there is in a hurry. Just a few days to think about it can't be enough. But—you should think it right, Jackie." She nodded. His fingers went white over his knee, and he swallowed. "And if you still want to go, then I—I think you'll do great."

Jackie smiled at him again, then leaned her back to the couch, closing her eyes.

Her lips were perfectly pink, probably still tasting like cherries and goddamn _love_. She seemed relaxed for the first time in days and he reprimanded himself for not noticing before that none of this was okay for her, and maybe that has been their problem all along, that he couldn't notice her.

She didn't move, didn't say anything, even when she still seemed like wanting to add something else. If she couldn't put that something else herself, he'll do it. It was just fair, at this point.

"I've been wanting to talk to you… for a while." He said. Jackie looked back at him and blinked a couple of times. "Actually, I was going to—the night of your first official show, I was going to tell you this."

"What?" She murmured.

There were three ways to say this, only one would give him what he wanted, "You…", the first was to say the truth about how he felt. It seemed impossible, his mouth felt like sand out of nowhere and his lungs seemed to get smaller inside him.

He squeezed his own knee, trying to force himself to talk. "You know why Brooke won't date Kelso again, do you?"

Jackie didn't blink, she didn't even move. No tension or relief, she was just looking at him. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, smiled sad and nodded. "Yeah."

Disappointed.

"He took a decision he considered was best for her and Betsy, but she didn't agree." He continued. "Even if it was the best, but—"

"He decided for her." She moved, one leg under the other and next thing, she damn yawned. "A little crazy, considering Michael never thinks of anyone but himself. The first time his heart finally finds a way to care about anyone else and it makes Brooke mad, I don't know if it's funny or sad."

"Maybe both." He answered, losing part of his courage. But if there was a chance Jackie may hear him, truly hear him, he needed to try. "I did something similar that night after your show."

The frown appeared on her face and she straightened her back out of the couch, leaning towards him firmly. "What?"

"You said you were gonna make it great on your own and I agreed." He finished. The first part was done. "I didn't want to be the guy getting between you and your life, so I stepped aside."

"Stepped aside from what?" And she was mad, too. Maybe now she may understand Brooke, he certainly was understanding Kelso's confusion and sadness. "Excuse me, but we weren't together when—"

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to get back together." He finally said. "But you were so happy and excited about being you, alone, for the first time... I couldn't do that to you."

A burning silence followed his words but she didn't seem to be as mad as she seemed to get just a few seconds ago. Yet, no words were said until she swallowed and changed positions on the couch, putting both legs under her butt and looking directly at him.

"You wanted to get back together?" She murmured, he only nodded, wishing she would understand where he was going with all this. "But, Steven… Do you even remember why we broke up in the first place?" She frowned, he opened his mouth to say a lie, that he understood where she was going, but the truth was that he had no idea. "Have you changed your mind about the future? About marriage? Because I haven't change mine."

There. That was it, right? That was the real deal here, what they should be talking about, and not what Kelso did right or what he did wrong that Hyde could use as an example. Kelso had gone blind to follow his heart calling home to a little girl with little hair and chubby cheeks, and that was the example he should be taking, not what happened with Brooke.

His heart called home a small grasshopper, looking at him with sadness in her big eyes.

"I mean—sure, it would had been nice if you had actually talked to me about it when you… _decided_ we shouldn't be together because of my show, but… that wasn't our problem."

"But it was." He smiled, he probably looked desperate and tried not to picture it on his mind. He was going to puke if he did. "Look, Jackie… I understand why this marriage thing is such a big deal for you, it's what you thought and—"

"My way out of any problem." She finished. Jackie looked in front of her, thinking about what to say next and then sighed deeply, looking back into his eyes. "Two years ago, well, maybe even a year ago, it would have been. But… you told me I could work to have what I wanted and you were going to be fine with that. Was it a lie?"

"What? No!"

"Alright, then…" She sighed. "The night Eric left Donna at the altar, you were really, really mad, remember?"

Fuck. He nodded, knowing the manipulation was coming. This was exactly why she shouldn't know anything too deep about him too soon. Her wonder was incredibly dangerous for him, Jackie had gained too much power over him and she could destroy him easily. If he didn't play this right, he was as good as lost.

"After I came back from Donna's, you kept telling me about how Eric was an idiot and how much you were going to kick his ass when you find him." She continued. "Then, when we were lying on my bed after we made love, you looked me right in the eyes," she signaled her eyes and he frowned, "and said: 'I would never do that to you', you kissed me and said, 'the day we get hitched, you know I'll be there', so I thought… it's going to happen, he wants to marry me."

The memory of that night was mostly blurry to him, he thought he may had dreamt that. Jackie never mentioned it to him, she would have, all the time, but she never did. He had been really tired after all that had happened, to have a dream like that didn't seem odd to him. He constantly dreamed of her and their pillow talks, and in his dreams, she was exactly like she was right now.

She never used what he said against him unless necessary, like in this moment, when he was finally noticing he had been an idiot and he had let his fear hurt Jackie. He wondered if she knew her antics did hurt him, too, in the past. And he wondered if he should bring it out now, or if he was better in silence, as she kept talking.

"But… the months passed, you got a lot of stability and things you never had before. It really made me happy to see you there, but—" She smiled sad, lowering her eyes again, as if ashamed. "You changed the way you talked to me. You started to be harsh again and to close yourself after your sister appeared. I thought it may be all the changes, but you got the store and everyone's support…" Her nose went red, she was about to cry and he swallowed. This was not how imagined this conversation going. "And I had lost so much, I thought—Maybe now that you had all this, you wouldn't want me anymore. You kept hitting on my mom and talking about Donna as if she wasn't my best friend, or yours, or Eric's girlfriend. You kept talking about Brooke and other girls, and I couldn't help the stupid things leaving my mouth. I thought that if I could make you promise me we were going to be together in the future, maybe get married one day, I could endure that and become what you wanted. But…"

"Wait…" He murmured, there was something here he wasn't liking at all. Standing, Hyde moved to sit down beside her in the couch. She didn't move, kept her eyes on her fingers, she played with them and the material of her shirt. "You think all this shit was your fault? That I didn't want you?"

"Well, why else wouldn't you be able to see a future with me?" She said, her voice was breaking, but there were no tears on her face yet. She was being stronger than she would had been months ago. "I mean, you used to joke about being fat and living here in this basement. With me. And you sat down in the park with me, and we would criticize bad moms not putting enough attention to their children, saying we wouldn't commit those errors if we ever had our own because our parents had messed us up enough." She visibly swallowed and finally looked up at him. "But after the fiasco with Donna and Eric's wedding, after you assured me you wouldn't do something like that to me, you stopped. And it scared me… so much. I needed to know if you still thought we would get fat together and be maintained by the Formans. But you couldn't even joke about it anymore."

There was a sound coming from the TV and upstairs, in the kitchen. The Formans were probably welcoming Kelso, who had come home with his daughter to see his parents and siblings, and them. He figured Mrs. Forman would be excited to have a baby home, and that was also why Jackie was here so early, too. Hyde swallowed.

He understood perfectly what she was saying and to discover all this was out of fear was almost infuriating him. Because his own shit was coming from fear, too. It was ruining them, just like it had ruined him when he was a kid. He had fought enough against it his entire life, and without knowing, they had let it win.

"Okay." He murmured. His hand moved, slowly caressing Jackie's cheek and she melted in his touch. Smiling, he licked his lips before talking again. "I need to know something, too." His fingers touched the back of her ear, the softness of her skin was something he had missed like crazy. "Did you want to know if we were gonna get hitched just because my father turned out to be rich?"

She slapped his hand away and stood, a frown had formed on her face and yeah, that was everything he needed to know, alright.

"Are you ever going to stop thinking of me like I'm such a tramp?" She almost yelled, her voice was hurt but she hadn't understood why he needed to know. Hyde stood with her and blocked the exit of the basement. "Move! I can't believe you!"

"I don't think of you like that!" He said, he wanted to touch her again and comfort her, but right now, he better kept his hands to himself. "Jackie, please, just listen to me. This time, you listen!"

She stopped right in front of him, both hands in fists, and her feet firm on the ground. Her eyes never looked this intense before, at least not directed at him and Hyde swallowed, nodding at her with a small smile.

"I was afraid you wanted us to get married just because of my father." He said, she opened her mouth to protest, so he talked fast. "And I was an asshole. Jackie, I want to be with you."

Every time they were apart, she was always the one to make the first step. This time, he needed to do it, he needed to show her he was serious and that he understood his distraction with other fractions of his life shouldn't affect her to this point, ever again.

She had been right at his side when he most needed her and it was only fair for him to do the same. Not because he owed her that, but because he wanted to.

"Steven…" She murmured, he had finally left her without words and he tried a small smile at her. But she shook her head. "No, you hurt me! Again! We can't just—get back together like that."

"Okay…" He found himself saying. "What do you need?"

There wasn't an answer right away, she seemed to genuinely consider what was going on and how she was feeling. Maybe the best they could do was to leave this conversation here, think about it, probably sleep on it, and then talk again. But she slowly looked up at him again and sighed.

"I want to be with you, too." His lips started to curl in a smile, but her finger went up and he stopped. "But you have to understand that being married and having a family is something I want, it's something I have always wanted and I'm not going to give up on that. I already gave up on many things, this is something I _want_ to be happy."

He nodded, trying to understand what was the deal between them now. "So…?"

"I don't want you to just say yes to me to then have another fight like this years later. So, think about it, Steven, really **think** of it. Do you think you may want to marry me in the future and have children with me?" She said, not waiting for answer she continued. "And I need to know now because—because my future is happening right now and I'm not playing."

"Okay." He answered after a long pause. She was damn serious, he better be just as much. "Alright, just—I understand you need that security. So, here's what I need: don't push me. I know I sometimes need it, like when you wanted me to meet WB. But in this feelings crap? Don't. Give me space. if I breathe, I can do it myself when I'm ready." He said, hoping she would understand.

For the first time during this conversation, she smiled and nodded her head enthusiastically. Had she decided so easily? Would she truly do it?

"You have to trust me, Steven. Like I trust you." She said. "You think I want to hurt you, but that's the last thing I want. But if you don't believe me when I say it, I can't expect you to actually trust me with your silence." She sighed. "You still see me as Michael's girlfriend. As long as you think of me as that girl, you'll never be able to see me."

"It's just…"

"Let go of the past." She said in a firm tone. She wasn't calling him out, but advising him. She wasn't his chick, but she cared about him and wanted what was best for him. "Only when you stop living in the past, you'll be able to enjoy the present as you always tell me. And then you'll be able to dream about the future."

"Okay…"

"You once asked me how could I forgive you for what you did with that nurse," she said and his shoulders tensed, he felt himself becoming smaller. To remember his biggest mistakes was a torture he often did to himself, but when she mentioned them, it just made him feel disgusting, "and I said that I knew your heart and that I trusted the person you were at the time. So, trust me, Steven. I'm not out there to hurt you."

Every person that was supposed to love him since the day he was born had been out there to do just as she said, it had fucked him over and over for years, and even now, it still screwed him.

But Donna was right, man. If he trusted her and Forman, then he could trust Jackie even more. She was the holder of the key to everything he didn't show to absolutely anyone, sometimes, not even to himself.

"Alright." He answered. "So, are we…?"

"Not yet." She sighed. "Let me—I need to talk to Donna and sleep on this. I want you to also think about it, Steven. I mean it, I don't want to have this conversation again in a couple of years."

"Yeah." He sighed, moving his hands to cradle her face. She looked up at him and smiled. Her eyes were shining again in its warm glory and the grey had gone away. They were going to be fine. "I really would like to kiss you, I'm not sure if that's allowed at the moment."

She smiled at him, wide and brighter than before, titling her head to one side before her hands touched his chest, caressing softly as she looked up, waiting. He leaned towards her, slowly kissing her, trying not to get too lost in the feeling. If this was the last time he would kiss her, he hoped it could say everything he wanted Jackie to know.

Hyde opened his mouth after Jackie tenderly touched his lips with her tongue, enjoying the warm of her movements and her breathe. She was a hungry kisser, always wanting to feel everything on her tongue, her throat, directly to her heart and between her legs. And he loved her all the same.

That key was throbbing alive in his chest again, her lips had gotten it back and, hopefully, he wouldn't have to let go again.

**~0~**

"Are we _seriously_ doing this?"

Donna's voice sounded like Jackie's internal monologues and she looked at her friend, who was standing alone in the middle of what will be their living room. Jackie sighed, her name was already on the paper and her mother was throwing words at her new landlord, menacing with suing if she ever needed something and he didn't give it to her.

But Donna sounded scared, more than Jackie felt at the moment and she walked to her friend, hoping she would feel safer knowing she wouldn't be alone in here.

"You can stay with your dad all you want, Donna." She said. "But me? One second longer in that house and I'm going to kill my mother."

Which was true. Donna turned around to look at her, nodding. There weren't tears in her eyes but her hands were shaking. Jackie took them and nodded to her, the voices of her mother and Mr. Pinciotti sounded closer, probably coming back from what was going to be Donna's room.

"I can get another roommate…" She murmured, but Donna shook her head enthusiastically. "That's the spirit."

"Jackie—"

"Alright, Pumpkin'!" Mr. Pinciotti said, moving to hold Donna's arm as he signaled the apartment happily. "Your first flat! I remember when me and your mom moved in together, our place was two times smaller than this!"

Jackie smiled after seeing Donna's happy expression, she always brightened at the mention of a positive thing about her mother. Mr. Pinciotti kept talking about their first apartment and how Donna would cry at night and the neighbors would get shitty, so her mother invented a song for her.

She had been a kid whose cries were never heard of. Her mother didn't make songs for her and her father didn't fight neighbors who wanted them out for having a baby at a young age. Her parents had been both physically mature enough, but they were the kind of people that maybe shouldn't have had a kid.

The negative cloud around her suddenly dissipated with the soft hands caressing the sides of her arms and she looked up to find Steven smiling at her. Jackie smiled back and closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead, letting out a sigh that expulsed the rest of her negativity for the moment.

"So, Han—" Her mother called, Jackie rolled her eyes and her jaw ached, looking at her mom.

"Hyde, mom, HYDE." She corrected her again. "Also, that's his last name, anyway. His name is Steven."

Steven's hand massaged the conjecture between her neck and shoulder gently, assuring her it was okay but Jackie was tired. Her mother couldn't be that stupid, she was obviously changing Steven's name on purpose, just to make an impression, and she was _so_ tired.

"Whatever, I don't think Stephen here cares too much. Right, honey?" She smiled at Steven and his hand moved from her shoulder to the bottom of her back, resting there to remind her he was right here with her.

"Sure, Lucy."

Her mom chocked in her own laugh, moving her hand in front of them like dismissing this conversation and then it landed on Steven's shoulder. He slowly stepped behind Jackie and she crossed her arms over her chest, walking in front of him as if hiding him and protecting him.

"You are so funny! I bet it all came from your amazing father!"

Jackie had to roll her eyes again, looking past her mother to where Donna was standing, arching an eyebrow, as if asking what was all this about. Jackie shrugged for her, and Donna smiled apologetic, as if she was the one having to apologize for her mother's behavior.

Finally, Mr. Pinciotti took her mom's attention talking about vacations in California and they left the empty apartment.

"Lucy?" She looked at him, he shrugged.

"Lucifer."

Donna chuckled at that and Jackie started to laugh maybe too loud, so Steven tried to silence her playfully putting a hand on her mouth, but she moved and looked at their friend. Donna smiled at her and she walked to her, taking her hands. They giggled to each other and then looked around.

"Donna, we are doing this!" She smiled, jumping and making strange noises, mouse noises as Steven called them. "We're gonna live together and be adult women!"

And Donna was doing it, too. Suddenly too excited to care how unlikely this was of her. "I don't think giggling and jumping like this is the way, but I don't care! I'm so stupidly excited I don't care if Hyde tells everyone what I'm doing!"

Steven laughed at that and walked inside the apartment, away from them.

After they had that conversation two months ago, she had talked to Donna and proposed to work together for the producers of 'Wake up, Wisconsin' and 'Wisconsin's Night Show'. Her friend had her own plans for when Eric came back from Africa, but having a decent job for a year wouldn't hurt.

Once Donna said yes, it costed Jackie nothing to say no to Chicago and stay home.

They will still use the TV Access installations to transmit their segments, but this time, they will be seen by all Wisconsin on a real TV station, with an audience that would appreciate the hours they spent planning their show, rehearsing it and trying to make it perfect. The payment, although not as big as one might imagine, was good and it allowed them this whole new step.

"But don't you think it's too big?" Donna said. It was too late for this, since both had signed their rent contract, but Jackie looked at her. "I mean, I'm going to be only ten months here. What are you going to do then?"

"Oh, Donna. Don't worry about that, we have a plan."

Donna arched an eyebrow, her smirk told Jackie she was going to make her afternoon impossible but she prepared herself for what was next. "We?"

She sighed. "Steven and I." Jackie answered, making sure Steven wasn't around. "He doesn't want to leave The Formans' just yet because Mrs. Forman will feel childless. So once Eric comes back, he's moving here."

"As in…" Donna started, her feet were moving as if she wanted to dance, "your very serious boyfriend who is totally committed to you? Or your roommate?"

Jackie arched an eyebrow now. "Just said it, goon."

"You want to live with him because you loooooove him!" She sang and Jackie shook her head, her face and neck felt warm, she wondered if she was getting a full body blush. "I knew you two were gonna get back together!" She said.

"We aren't back together." Jackie answered and Donna's face fell, her eyes opened in surprise and she blinked too many times. "Hush your damn face! We haven't talked about it…"

"So, you two aren't together but you are kissing and holding hands, and moving in, and sleeping together? Right."

"We—we aren't doing any of that."

"But—"

"Hey." Steven returned to the living room and both said 'hi' at the same time, maybe too loud. He arched an eyebrow and looked at both of them. "What are you two doing?"

"Oh, nothing. Just judging someone who is sleeping around with a friend who obviously has feelings for her and she doesn't give him the chance he deserves."

Jackie kept her desire of rolling her eyes but pinched Donna's arm as she walked towards Steven, who was looking at her with a frown. She shrugged and tried to smile, but God, she needed to talk to him about this. Whatever they said now, it was going to be the last time.

"Donna, man…" Steven said, his hands moved to her shoulders and Jackie sighed. "Give us a minute?"

Their friend left almost immediately, squeezing Steven's shoulder before leaving. They heard her going down the stairs and Jackie turned back to look at him, quickly thinking of how to start this conversation.

"I assume you are the friend sleeping around with the other friend." He said, crossing his arms over his chest, protecting himself. She nodded. "You know, Donna has some imagination. To my knowledge, we ain't sleeping together."

She nodded, trying not to laugh. "Yeah, I didn't have time to correct her." She closed her eyes and flipped her hair to one side, then sighed and looked at him. "I hope you don't think I told her anything, I didn't."

"I know you didn't." His arms uncrossed but the tension didn't leave his body, his hands went to hide inside his pockets and Jackie started to balance her weight from feet to feet. "You're making a big step here, Jackie. I hope you are proud of how far you've gone."

The tone of his voice made her smile. If she wasn't full body blushing before, she definitely was now. Looking up into his eyes, she never felt her heart wanting him as much as she wanted him now. God, these months without his touch beyond small kisses and caresses were driving her crazy and she swallowed before talking.

"I'm proud of you, grasshopper. You stood up for yourself with your mother, got yourself a good job and now an apartment." His finger touched the tip of her nose and her smile widened, if it was possible. "You're going big…"

"I'm glad you see that." She murmured, then swallowed again. "You—you know, Steven. We talked about you moving here when Eric comes back, but…" She sighed. "Uhm. You and I. We have a pending conversation."

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah…"

"Uhmmm…" She took her own hand, both on her chest. "Do you still want to get back together?" He only nodded. "Good! And, did you think about what I said?"

"Did you think about it, too?" Was his answer. She nodded this time. "Cool."

In their silence, he moved to take her hand. His fingers were taking hers but he didn't go further.

"Listen, Jackie… whatever future there's for us, I want it to be happy for both of us." Her fingers moved closer to his. "If we get hitched or not, it doesn't matter to me as long as you want it with me. I want it. I know that now." He said, his fingers enlaced with hers. "When we broke up, you said you weren't happy and that… That felt worse than anything. You have given up on lots of crap you were told to need while growing up, it's only fair I would let go of mine." His palm finally meet hers and Jackie's heart filled with bliss. Steven looked in her eyes, and he smiled sweet. "There's nowhere else I want to be. Or anyone else I would want to be with. Just you."

"Oh, Steven." She moved, letting go of his hand to hug him like she wanted for so long. He rounded her with her arms, warm and big, the pressure of his body was always welcomed in her heart. "Thank God, thank God…" She murmured against his chest. "I don't want to lose you ever again. I won't push you, I swear! I'm going to be the nicest, most understanding girlfriend ever."

He laughed at that, there was no malice in it and it made her smile. Steven kissed her hair, his lips caressed her ear and her entire body shuddered at the touch. "Thank you." He murmured and kissed her ear. "I love you."

Jackie closed her eyes and smiled against his chest, her hands opened on his neck and slowly moved to his chest, making them look at each other for a few seconds. "I love you too, Steven."

She leaned towards his at the same time he moved, kissing him as her hands went to his back and felt how much his body had lost the tension she felt there for so long since this mess started.

He used to say that she worked magic on him, always helping him relax and take things easier. Maybe she had done her part again for he had done his: she felt the lightest she has ever felt in the longest time.

**~0~**

The sun filtered in the strangest way in Jackie's bedroom.

It took the form of actual rays of sunshine, making a path between her curtains, making visible all kind of dust, fluff and bacteria she probably had decided to ignore. He smiled, following the warm ray to Jackie's shoulder.

She was never bothered by the sun, probably because she eclipsed it with her own light and warm. She didn't move as it hit her body in the morning and remained sleeping in the softness of her private world, chest going up and down tenderly, lips just a little bit open and not as pink as the rest of the day.

Many times, she complained about him liking her just-woken-up self. She said her hair tangled in her sleep (true) and the red marks on her body after being pressed for so long against sheets couldn't be attractive at all. But she didn't see what he did.

His hand touched her shoulder and her body automatically cuddle into him, allowing the sun to touch her back and the birth marks formed a star chart he had named one by one before. His fingers formed the constellations he found years ago and she sighed in his neck, not waking up yet.

She didn't see the way she glowed in the everyday of her messy hair, not so pink lips, drowsy eyes and slow motions. Her sleepy smile was enough to have a good morning and she didn't see that, that no one else knew her like this as nobody knew him this much, and it made it—

Her lips moved over his neck, kissing all the skin she could take and Hyde smiled, getting his fingers through her hair until her mouth was over his and they kissed deep and slowly, almost lazy, and full of joy.

"Happy birthday, baby." She murmured.

But, rage and other grey feelings didn't have a place when she looked at him like that. The past didn't have its hold on him as long as this was his present, his future figured inside him as something bright for the first time. And she was there all along, all the time, in what he was and what he would become.

"Indeed." He smiled at her, pecking at her lips a few times.

They had started celebrating last night, when the clock marked 00 and she had gotten excited about it being his birthday. She was always happy about it, it makes up for him not being into that. But her early birthday presents were always glorious.

She moved on the bed, facing him with her chin on her hands and the sun touching her skin in intimacy, inviting him to admire her naked form and the beauty of her face.

Man, those months without her had been next to terrible.

As a kid, he thought there would never be something more horrible than having to live with his mother, and then he had to live without Jackie. He barely liked himself, without her it was going back to when he was thirteen and full of rage.

"You want breakfast in bed?" She asked, her legs were up in the air, moving up and down. "And by that, I don't mean cooking."

"Nice." He smirked and she tittled her head with a big smile, going for another kiss before starting to descent down his body.

She had a way to do things he hadn't seen in anyone else and the power she had over him, while scary at times, didn't overwhelmed him like when Hyde first noticed it.

Time, that's all they needed. Even if it costed her not to push and it costed him not to ignore, being together was like freeing the other from the strange cages they were put in at birth.

His chick worked magic on him today, and it wouldn't be the last time.

**~0~**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


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